Speak Softly, Get Exposed on the Internet

Tonight someone just brought to my attention something that someone else mentioned to me once that now I recall someone before that having brought to my attention, and they did it in a way that helped me finally understand just what the first person was trying to get me to see and that is that this blog had made its way to a highly publicized list of Charlottesville blogs that a lot of people were reading.

This shocks me.

One, it shocks me that a lot of people would be turning their attention to anything having to do with this town. Two, it shocks me that all these people could be reading this blog. To these people, I say ... Go away! What the fuck are you doing!?! This was never meant to be some public document. This was and remains a way for people who know me (you know ... friends) to check in and see how I'm doing. It's a personal, just-me-chatting kind of thing. I mean, think about my spelling. Look at the beginning sentence of this blog entry, for Christ's sake! Who in their right mind shares a sentence like that beyond his or her circle of friends.

So am-scray. Vamouse. This is just for us folks. And in the light of my newly discovered exposure, I feel compelled (in a sort of panicked way) to issue some corrections, clarifications, and apologies for past blog entries.

1. When I intimated that my boss was, "a nasty, slave-driving maniac" in my August 24th entry "My Boss, That Nasty Slave-Driving Maniac" I was only exercising the highest form of ironic satire in the traditional Swiftian tradition. My boss is actually a wonderful, sweet man, who gives generously to several charities and was, in his youth, considered to be an incarnation of the Dalai Lama.
   
   
2. When I admitted in my January 3rd posting, "Smarting on the Sudan" that I had undergone melonin treatments as a child to change me into an African American when I had been born as a small Pakistani boy name Chupra Singh, that was a lie. I am actually Taiwanese by birth.
   
   
3. When in my June 15th posting, "The Ides of Laura March" I suggested that 90% of police officers were just two swings short of Rodney King, I was suffering from tragically low blood sugar and was delusional. In actuality I value and praise the efforts of our brave men and women in blue, selflessly putting themselves in harms way so that we can stay safe, especially the NYPD and the NYFD. God bless America. Continued vigilence against terrorism. 9/11.
   
   
4. And in the October 3rd posting, "Edible Paste: Kindergarden Hunger Strikes Cured", I would like to apologize to President Bush for suggesting that he and Dick Cheney stole the last two elections. Tell you what ... "buttfucking".