Lameness is Me

Okay, so I haven't been blogging because I've been embarrassed to admit that I've been running away from my upcoming lay off. I was looking for jobs and seeing people asking for things I didn't have, namely experience working in professional theaters, and I started to think about all the people who do have that experience and all the people I'm competing with and all the people with better training and all the people have gone to places like New York and Chicago and how I never wanted to go there even though those were theater hubs and how now that's biting me in the ass and all the other decisions I've made in the past that work against me now and how if I didn't get a job I didn't know what I was going to do and how I still didn't want to move ... and I just started freaking out. I had to call someone to talk me down.

Then I felt pathetic, really pathetic.

Then I stopped looking for jobs.

Then I stopped blogging.

Then I felt more pathetic.

So there, I said it.