Truth in Advertising

So my mouse has stopped right clicking. I think Fezzig sat on it one too many times. To be fair, though, it is pretty old for a computer accessory.

After taking it apart and trying to see if I could see anything to try, I gave up and bought a new one, Kensington's Optical Mouse-in-a-Box. It's their basic optical mouse. Guaranteed compatibility across multiple platforms. No wireless. No drivers. No "lazer". Just your basic optical mouse. Mouse-in-a-Box. "Guarantied to work right out of the box."

So I open up the box and there's an instruction booklet. And I think, "Instruction booklet? What's with this instruction booklet? I thought this was supposed to be the basic no muss/no fuss mouse. Why do you need an instruction booklet?" But since I learned nothing from my father, the engineer, I dutifully opened it up and read the instructions.

(Guess what? When I'm lost ... I stop and ask for directions. I don't have time to fuck around with your stereotypes.)

It says in the Table of Contents:
"Plugging in your mouse . . . . . . . . . . Page 2"

So I turn to page 2, and page 2 says:

Plug in your mouse.

And there's a picture of you plugging in your mouse. No lie. That's it. If you're using the PS2 connection it tells you to turn off your computer first. But that's it. Page 3 is troubleshooting.

And I'm like, "Now that is delivering what you claim."