Switch Mountain

I just watched a trailer for Disney's remake of Escape to Witch Mountain.

Remember Escape to Witch Mountain? It was one of Disney's live action features. As I remember, it was to me, as a kid, just a little bit creepy, just a little suspenseful, and a whole lot of fun. The story, as I remember, was this.

A brother and a sister run away from foster care (or something like that) and try to make their way to Witch Mountain. I can't remember if they even know at first that it's Witch Mountain they're going to, but she's got this little purse with a strange design that's somehow a key to their past and where they need to go. They have vague, flashes of memory of when their parents died in ... a car crash? a flood? There was water. I remember the water. Now, the strange thing is these two siblings can speak to each other telepathically, and the sister can even perform simple acts of telekinesis. I think she was older and took the lead. They're being chased by some men ('Cause there's got to be a chase, right?) and they get picked up reluctantly by a guy in his camper, played by Tom Keith. He's emotionally wounded in some way so that it's difficult to even pick up these kids much less help them. And the whole movie is the slow unravelling of the mystery of who these kids are and who's after them and why they need to go to Witch Mountain and Keith's character's journey back to the place where he can care about someone again.

Anyway, that's my memory of it. Haven't seen it in ... almost three decades, but what's not to like? Lost and scared kids on their own. Adults chasing them for mysterious reasons. A little bit of supernatural. A lot of amnesia/mystery stuff. Sounds cool, right?

(Watch me see it now and discover that I've completely blocked out the character of Ole' Rastus, the negro janitor who helps the kids hide in Jimmy Ching-Chang-Chong's Chinee Choppy Shoppy. This is Disney, after all.

"You chilluns' trust me! Ole' Rastus's friend, Jimmy Ching-Chang-Chong will help you. Won't cha', Jimmy?"
"Yes! Yes! Me help! Me help! Come! Come! You hide! You hide!")

Anyway, that was then. That's what worked then. This is what they do now.

First off, they've changed the title to Race to Witch Mountain. That alone should've told me something.

Remember the kids' extra-normal abilities in the first one -- telepathy and one person's light telekinesis? They were just enough so that the kids could help themselves, but not enough so that they could defend themselves. Hence the need for the adult figure, hence the suspense from the chase.

Well, in the trailer for the remake, the sister and brother are being chased. The brother phases out from the back of a moving car and then stands in the middle of the road as the speeding pursuit car rams into him and crumples around him.

... Okay ... so they've ramped that up a bit.

Remember how their adult was good old, crotchety, Family Affair Brian Keith? (At least I remember it being Brian Keith.) Today, it's Dwayne Johnson, the artist formerly known as "The Rock." No longer this wounded, loaner man trying to shut himself off from the world in his camper. Apparently he's a cabby who picks the kids up. They obviously don't need his help defending them. I guess they just need a ride. And get this, in the preview, they just blurt out to him the whole thing about who they are and how they've got to get to Witch Mountain. So I guess this version is less about the mystery and more about the chase -- less "Escape" and more "RACE!! to Witch Mountain!"

Now, I'm not being a snob; I'm not being a purist. I'm not all that attached to Witch Mountain. Race, I guess, comes out in a few days, and it should be fun. So this one's an action movie. Okay. I'll most likely watch it when it comes out on Netflix. T.A.F.K.A.The Rock looks to have taken some acting lessons. He seems much more expressive in the trailer clips than I've seen him be in the past. I'm interested to see his career develop. You remember how Schwarzeneggar had the thing where he wanted to balance each hardcore action film he did with something like Kindergarten Cop? Looks like Johnson might be similarly exploring the softer side of the steroid pumped action dude.

I just think it's interesting, if not funny, how different eras package the same stories. And I guess the era's gone for a couple of scared kids with a purse, flashes of memory, and a mystery cowering in the back of Brian Keith's camper.

Then again, it's no longer the era for Jimmy Ching-Chang-Chong's Chinee Choppy Shoppy. So that's something.