Funny Business

So a friend of mine apparently has a friend who has challenged his friends to come up with punch lines for this set up ... "A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ..." and my friend asked her friends to help her out. Here's what I came up with in a little over twenty minutes ...

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
Susie, the bartender sees them and says, "That's it! I'm going home! When your ex'es all start hanging out together it's time to throw in the towel!"

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
And the bartender says, "Hey! When the hell did you guys get legs!?!"

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
And the bartender says, "I told yuse guys before ... no politicians!"

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
They go up to the bartender, and the snake says, "Barkeep, three of your stiffest drinks if you will." The bartender obliges.
The snake takes a sip and says, "Sinful! I'll have another."
The eel takes a sip and says, "Shocking! I'll have another."
The worm takes a sip and says, "Perfect! I'll have three more!"
"Three more?" says the bartender, "What's his deal?"
"Oh, he's celebrating," says the snake.
"Celebrating?" says the bartender, "What's a worm like him got to celebrate about?"
And the eel says, "making partner."

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
The bartender says to the snake and eel, "Hey how's it going guys?"
Snake and eel say, "Fine, Charlie, just fine."
Bartender says, "Who's your friend?"
Eel says, "I dunno. He's just some guy who wormed his way into our company."

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
They have a few drinks and then have some more and then they start trash talking.
"China!" says the snake. "China is the worst place, lads! A snake's life isn't worth two bits in China!"
"Japan!" says the eel, "They'd just as soon sashimi you as look atcha' in Japan! I tells ya', eels got it rough in Japan, boys!"
The worm says, "Pussies! I got three words for you whiners ... "Fishing Season!" and "Every-fucking-where!"

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
As soon as they step in, they hang at the door for a bit, checking out the action.
A guy asks the bartender, "Hey, what's up with those guys?"
"Oh," says the bartender, "they're our Gleesome Threesome. Every Wednesday they come in here, have some drinks, and cruise the chicks."
"You don't say?" says the guy. "Do they get anywhere?"
The bartender says, "Yeah. The snake and the eel don't do too badly."
"What about the worm?" asks the guy.
"The worm? No, the worm never scores."
"Really?" says the guy. "Why not?"
"Ah, the poor sucker," says the bartender, "He's got baited breath."

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
Immediately a guy jumps up and says, "Cabinet members! You're all cabinet members!"
At which point the bartender says, "Geez, Barack! I know you wanna' reach across the aisle, but this is ridiculous!"

A snake, an eel, and a worm walk into a bar ...
After they settle down with their drinks the snake says, "Boys, that is the last time I give culinary advice! Ever since Eve ate of the forbidden fruit she is a changed woman, let me tell you!"
"I know!" says the worm. "She used to be quite civil to me, but now she keeps making comments about my size!"
"Harumph!" snorts the eel. "Feel lucky she doesn't think you're battery powered!"