WCAJ Weather
"And now with the Weather Report, here's our staff meteorologist, Jane Flame. Jane?"
"Thanks, Stubby. The big news, of course, is the landfall of hurricane ABC on the coast of Clinton two Fridays ago. Since then, we've been watching to see what kind of fallout or aftershocks we can expect from this unexpected and unprecedented distaster. After consulting with many of the survivors and with one expert at the National Legal Meteorological Center, we've been able to come up with these predictions.
"After the devestating strike of hurricane ABC, the affected areas can expect a 90% chance of fines. It's still not clear what strength fines may come down. We could be in for a light dusting or we could be facing gale force fines, it's just too soon to tell, although our one expert is sending out feelers now to see what she can find out. The good news is Dopplar Radar shows a negligable chance of jail time. So, I'm pretty sure that'll allow people in the affected areas to rest a little easier."
"Jane, you've mentioned one expert you've spoken too. Weren't you consulting with another?"
"That's right, Stubby. We were in communication with a second expert, but unfortunately we experienced some Strep on the line and lost contact. We're trying to reestablish contact as soon as possible."
"Very good. Jane, ABC's sudden landfall was devestating and infuriating enough. Any chance that these aftermaths could just blow over?"
"Again, Stubby, it's still too soon to say. The only thing that can be said is that morale in this remote, lazy, sleepy, sprawling, unimpressive, and usually unmovable community remains guarded. There's the distinct feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Only time will tell if that shoe, should it come, will be a dainty, light, summer sandle or the iron heeled jackboot of the Law. Still, life goes on. That's our Weather Report. Back to you, Stubby."
"Thanks, Stubby. The big news, of course, is the landfall of hurricane ABC on the coast of Clinton two Fridays ago. Since then, we've been watching to see what kind of fallout or aftershocks we can expect from this unexpected and unprecedented distaster. After consulting with many of the survivors and with one expert at the National Legal Meteorological Center, we've been able to come up with these predictions.
"After the devestating strike of hurricane ABC, the affected areas can expect a 90% chance of fines. It's still not clear what strength fines may come down. We could be in for a light dusting or we could be facing gale force fines, it's just too soon to tell, although our one expert is sending out feelers now to see what she can find out. The good news is Dopplar Radar shows a negligable chance of jail time. So, I'm pretty sure that'll allow people in the affected areas to rest a little easier."
"Jane, you've mentioned one expert you've spoken too. Weren't you consulting with another?"
"That's right, Stubby. We were in communication with a second expert, but unfortunately we experienced some Strep on the line and lost contact. We're trying to reestablish contact as soon as possible."
"Very good. Jane, ABC's sudden landfall was devestating and infuriating enough. Any chance that these aftermaths could just blow over?"
"Again, Stubby, it's still too soon to say. The only thing that can be said is that morale in this remote, lazy, sleepy, sprawling, unimpressive, and usually unmovable community remains guarded. There's the distinct feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Only time will tell if that shoe, should it come, will be a dainty, light, summer sandle or the iron heeled jackboot of the Law. Still, life goes on. That's our Weather Report. Back to you, Stubby."
posted by - caj at 11:15 PM
2 Comments:
If only real meteorologists discussing the weather sounded that good . . .
Thanks for the update, Stubby and Jane. I hope your team of storm experts can figure out ways for the coast of Clinton to avoid any aftershocks from hurricane ABC. (Sorry, mixed weather metaphores, but I'm even lazier.)
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