Blown

The Oregon Shakespeare Festival is one of the world's largest theatres with three stages, a resident company of hundreds, and a repertory season of half a dozen shows that run for most of the year. The Richmond Shakespeare Festival is a handful of people renting space from a Methodist church who tour Virginia for some months. Hey, but you gotta' start somewhere.

Last night, I went to an audition for Encore! Theatre's Richmond Shakespeare Festival. They're casting for productions of The Comedy of Errors and Romeo and Juliet to run this summer. I know, I know, "Hey you've just spent three years learning to direct. How come you're auditioning to act?" I need a job when I get out. They pay some of their people. Work is work; what do you want from me ... plus it's kind of late to get summer freelance directing gigs.

So it was a good experience for remembering what it's like to be on the other side of the table. Auditions suck. Auditions suck bad. I travelled to a town I didn't know, to a place I'd never been, to people I'd never met, with a speech I'd just learned the day before ... or thought I'd learned. When I said, "Auditions suck," it would have been just as accurate to say, I sucked. I sucked bad.

In every audition, there's this one person who just isn't up to snuff, who is awash in nerves, who can't remember their piece. And your heart goes out to them. You just start rooting that they get away with just a little self respect ... that was me. For the first time in my life that was me. Boy! Has it been a long time since I've acted. I'm still reliving the bomb. After we read our one minute monologues, the dude in charge handed out "sides" (scenes or speeches from the script for us to read). He gave me one of Adriana's speeches ... the lead's wife. Let me give you a peek into his head for a moment: "Let's see ... sides ... sides ... I'll have you do a lead and you do his buddy and you do the lead and you do his buddy and you ... I don't really have a side for you because I didn't planning on working with any losers so lets give you this speech so you won't feel bad." Basically, he mercy fucked me. He was very nice. They were all very nice, and they mercy fucked me. I've never had to be mercy fucked in my life.

Clinton Johnston ... big time theatre guy ... Hey, I went to grad school.